Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
