Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
