i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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