I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
