yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
