Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
