they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want her autograph on my taint
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
