Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
