her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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