I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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