what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
