Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
