My nipple is on Facebook.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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