OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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