we're blogging at a bar
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
