Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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