Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
