So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
