it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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