Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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