Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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