Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize