Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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