chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
