her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
