No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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