you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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