slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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