So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
