You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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