she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
