I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Randomize
