Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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