You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
