I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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