never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
