you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize