His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
