Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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