She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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