I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
