I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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