Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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