i don't like sucking hair
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
