god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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