Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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