In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize