Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the room spins SO much faster in panama
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
