3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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