a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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