i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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