No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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