Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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