Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize