My room smells like vodka and shame
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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