You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
