Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Randomize
