Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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