shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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