I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
