a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
