Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
