So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Damn victory sex feels great
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
