Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
