please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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