Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
