One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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